My Go-to Friends, AKA How I was Humbled On My Birthday

HI friends.  yes, it’s been a while.


Ok, so yes, today is my birthday.  I don’t expect any happy birthday wishes from anyone, but if you were thinking of wishing me happy birthday, thanks in advance.  <smile>  I only say this because I may forget to thank you later, and i don’t want it to be neglected, so I figure, if I get it out of the way now, I’m covered.  But that’s not the main focus for this post, just the setting in which this scneario took place.


So, I got plenty of birthday wishes.  The first birthday wish that caused me the issue that humbled me was when someone sent me 2 photos.  As most of you know, I’m blind.  I have an app on my phone that can recognize pictures, to a certain degree.  sometimes, it does a great job.  sometimes, it’s deplorable.  With one of the photos, it said it was from and reaad me the text.  the second photo, I had no idea.  It said, “Probably nintendo, cartoon.”  At first, I wanted to get angry because, she knows I am blind, so why pictures?  do people not think of the fact that, blind, can’t see.  Pictures, well…  IN any case, of course, I thought it was nice for her to want to send it, and I felt badly that I couldn’t see it.  Like, if I tried hard enough I could, or it’s my fault or something.  ridiculous, right?  both things are, because people don’t know what my technology can and can’t tell me.  Well, I had 3 choices.  I could either thank her and pretend I loved it and knew what it was.  (I’ve done my share of that in the past and just don’t like to)  I could tell her thanks but could she tell me what was in the pictures?  Lastly, I have a friend who I can go to who has gotten really good describing videos and pictures to me.  I must admit that though option 2 might be the one most preferred because hey, it educates, I chose option 3.  My friend told me to hold a minute because she had to enlarge it to read the tiny letters in the picture.  now at first, i wanted to feel badly about this, but then I told myself honestly, she probably has to do this with lots of pictures that come through Facebook, messenger, and the like.  it’s probably par for the course.  So she read it and I thanked her and the person sending it.


then, one of the people I have gotten really close to lately, and actually, a person who helped me in a situation where blindness was a barrier a few weeks ago, sent me a happy birthday picture.  I started with disappointment until I realized, again, she probably had no idea it came across as a picture, or maybe, that my software could do nothing with it.  My image-recognition software did a deplorable job with this picture.  so, again, I sent it to my option 3 go-to friend.  i said I was sorry, I hated to ask her again, but she said she is glad to do it.


I did tell the other friend that it took me some time to get back to her because I had to ask the other friend to describe the picture.


Can I be honest?  Sometimes, i hate blindness.  I wish I could enjoy that stuff.  it gets me down sometimes, but it’s all a matter of perspective.  The truth is, god has been wonderful to give me a friend who is willing and can describe these things for me.  I could ask a service available to do some of this, but then again, that would be harder and more impersonal.  Plus, I just didn’t think of it.


Now, to end this post, I do have to tell you what my option 3, go-to gal sent me.  she sent a youtube video of the craziest happy birthday song ever.  when you went to it, you were asked when you graduated from high school.  After you picked the decade, a song played in the style of music similar to what was popular when you graduated (I should have picked 1980-1989 because I enjoyed 80’s music better than 90’s; I may go back and do that <lol>)  It even put your name into the song.  i don’t know how she found this, but it was absolutely the coolest thing.  it was audio, it was sound.  it was something I could definitely fully appreciate.  I could choose to focus on the negative, or I could focus on the positive, the fact that she has been there to describe, and that she also thoughtfully picked out just the right birthday thing.  It is still making me smile.

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A Question to ponder

I am risking something sharing this.  It may sound very trite.  It may sound very stupid, but I am going to share it anyway, in the hope that someone else out there can relate.


IN a devotional I read today, the following question was posed:


What has held me back from grabbing Jesus’ hand when I’ve needed help?


the answer that came to me, again, seems so childlike, so rather strange, but here is what I prayed.


What has kept me from grabbing onto god’s hand?  I don’t know how!  how do I grab Your hand, Lord?


Obviously, I cannot hold onto his hand physically and grab it.


When I pray and say, Lord, help me in this situation, it seems like I can never help but to actually take it back and try to do it myself anyway.  I don’t know how to *not* do that.


so, hence, the question.  How do you grab god’s hand?  how do you grab it without letting go?  Any ideas or wisdom anyone can provide would definitely be welcome here.

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Seeking connection

HI everyone.  I do intend to post more.


Today, I want to share something I posted on facebook a few days back.  I would like to know if anyone reading this has these same thoughts or issues.  (I truly believe that I am not alone here, and I think we could help each other if we but take one step out into the sunshine and let our voice be heard.  I think that is also the way to conquer these issues.  so here’s the post…


I was talking to a friend yesterday, about how much he so wants to help people. I
admire that. I really want to connect more, which is one reason I am trying to post
more. I find that I am more apathetic than I’d like to be. More cynical. I tend to
hibernate. I know it’s all in perspective. I know there are books I can read, (which
I probably will) but I know it takes commitment on my part, and prayer. It’s hard
to admit this, but I feel it is one of the steps I need to take. I appreciate everyone’s
support, prayer, and encouragement in this endeavor. I want this in all areas, work,
and then with more closer, personal connections outside of work, both locally and
online. For one example, if I am outside and my neighbors are, too, I think about
striking up a conversation but don’t because of fears and questions like, what if
I am bugging them? What if they’d rather not talk to me? The whole thing is a real
struggle for me, but I really think it’s something I can change.


That was the post.  I just want to add that of course, this also happens at work, with customers, everywhere.  In the last few days, I feel like god is helping me to change my perspective on some of this, but it takes time.  I also fear it will go back the other way, that this is temporary.  I don’t want it to be.


I hope all of this makes sense and that someone can relate.

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OUr God Can Do Anything

1 Now in the first year of Cyrus king of Persia, that the word of the Lord by the
mouth of Jeremiah might be fulfilled, the Lord stirred up the spirit of Cyrus king
of Persia, so that he made a proclamation throughout all his kingdom, and also put
it in writing, saying,

2 Thus says Cyrus king of Persia:

All the kingdoms of the earth the Lord God of heaven has given me. And He has commanded
me to build Him a [a]house at Jerusalem which is in Judah.

(Ezra 1:1-2


I was reading this today and it got me to thinking.  King Cyrus acknowledged God.  He acknowledged that everything he had was given to him by God.  he also said that God told him to build a temple for Him in Jerusalem.  And I have to wonder: How did God get this Persian ruler’s attention?  Was Cyrus a little different growing up?  Was he a square peg in a round hole?  Obviously, the culture surrounding him was full of idols and foreign gods.  Certainly, he was taught to believe in and  follow the culture around him.  So what caused him to take such a stand and go a totally different way?  It’s obvious god did something in his life.  We don’t know how He did it, but obviously, there were experiences in Cyrus’s life that God used to shape him into the king god needed.  Looking at the situation 70 years before, could the captive Israelites even dream of how God might accomplish their return in 70 years?  I doubt it. If they had been told how it would happen, they probably would have doubted.  I probably would have doubted.  I probably would even have doubted I’d be released at all in 70 years.  But God did it.  Doesn’t that bring hope to you today?


We can only speculate what king Cyrus was like, what his personality was, how god might have reached him, but we don’t need to speculate about the fact that God did reach him!  And that’s the most important message of these 2 verses, at least it’s the most important message that God is showing me today.

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My Refuge, My Deliverer

Psalm 15, NIV


Psalm 15

LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary? Who may live on your holy hill? He whose walk
is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart
and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur
on his fellowman, who despises a vile man but honors those who fear the LORD, who
keeps his oath even when it hurts, who lends his money without usury and does not
accept a bribe against the innocent. He who does these things will never be shaken.


Ouch!  I can’t do all this.  There is no way!  I fail at this every day.


Lord, I can’t do it in my own strength.  I need Yours!  Help me!


I thank You, Lord, that You accept me anyway, that You allow me to dwell in the house of the Lord, because Your son did all those things; He was sinless.  he died so I could be, too.  Because of this, You are my refuge.  I can rest in Your everlasting arms.  May I not forget this.  May I never take it for granted!

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Wanting God More Than than His Promises

I was reading one of my Bible plans today. It talked about the rich young ruler. the plan said that Jesus wasn’t saying that it was him bethe rich that was the problem. The problem was what he wanted. He wanted eternal life more than the Giver of eternal life. It really convicted me. When I got saved, I was one very those people they talked about in the plan. I wanted to get to heaven. I wanted to escape hell. When I was growing up, we were taught that we didn’t know until wied if we’d get to heaven or hell. God would decide that. So when I found out there was a sure way to go to heaven, I was all for it! But the Giver, God, is more important. What makes heaven heaven isn’t the mansions or the streets of gold. It’s “the company,” as the plan said. Lord, forgive me for wanting the gifts more than Y. Now, my word for the year, intimacy, really takes on even more neaning. Help me develop that intimacy with You this year. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

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Surrender: The First Step

So I have been rding a bible plan that I was invited to called “The New Y.” It talks about committing to changing things to improve physic also, mental, and spiritual health. To be honest, the physical part is the hardest for me. My health is not good. Because of the health issues I have, my exercise tolerance is very low and it is very hard for me to do it. It hurts and makes me very short of breath. When I first started this plan, I thought, well I just need to do it! Push myself! But today was a revelation. The first step is not to jump in or to push yourself. No. The first step is surrender. Surrender your body to God. So God, You know what a losing battle it is for me because of my meds. You know that I get tired of the fight to either lose weight or get more healthy and just want to give up. So I am going to surrender to You. I will let You lead me in this. There were 2 more steps given. Don’t make excuses. Well, Lord, I feel like my exercise intolerance is a reason, not an excuse, but if it is, I ask Your forgiveness and help for me to find a way. Help me find the small steps I can take, which is the third piece of advice given. Amen!

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A Conversation With God

I was sitting on my porch today, praying, listening to music. And a woman I haven’t contacted in like a year crossed my mind. I haven’t contacted her because I knew she’d not be happy with a certain choice I made. I have chosen to worship online, to call Church Online my home church. There are several reasons for this, but I’m not going into those because that’s not the point of this post. I no longer feel the need to justify myself about it because I have prayed and am at peace with my decision and my reasoning. That is why now, that initial reason for me not calling her back is not even the issue anymore. Now it’s a matter of, I’ve avoided talking to her for so long, I feel that when I do contact her, that is the main issue, how long it’s been. Also, she can be a bit clingy, a bit overbearing. However, she is also a very strong prayer warrior and a wise older woman. She came into my mind. Honestly, the last few times she called, it was never at a convenient time. I was at work, or I was somewhere or doing something that I couldn’t answer. I really have to hand it to her. She still tries to contact me, to reach out. I whine and moan about not having local friends. She’s not totally local, but her brother works with me and so there would be times that yes, I could go see her or get rides to do so. So today, she crossed my mind. I said to myself, next time she calls, if she does again, I will call her back if I can’t answer. The thought occurred to me, you could call her. That scared me! I thought no, not yet. I felt immediate condemnation. You want to obey God, yet you refuse. Now you can’t have true fellowship until you do! You are so wicked! I realized this was Satan trying to ruin my time with God. I prayed about it. I told God I didn’t feel ready and I was scared. I felt Him saying, “That’s ok, child. I have put this into your mind so that it can ruminate, and to prepare your heart, just as an initial thought to think about doing.” I realized God will not love me less if I call her or if I don’t. When I do talk to her, He wants me to do it for me. Because it will help me. And that was so freeing!

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I was thinking about this. I plan to check out the Hallmark movies today, despite what’s on. My mom loves doing this. Usually, I’d look at the description and see if it looked good. I remember when I was a kid, widn’t have that option. told my mom yesterday that I saw a movie listed when I was looking about shoes. No, it wasn’t the Christmas Shoes; it was something else. She said it was good. It didn’t look good to me, but I probably missed a treasure. I remember turning on the rdio and wondering, Will the next song be a Christmas song? It was the anticipation and the thrill when it was! Now, with Youtube and Spotify, we can choose. Isn’t it fun having the control taken out of our hands sometimes? And I just thought of this! Maybe, if we let God have control, we will discover new fun thing; and thrills we wouldn’t have in our own control!

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Focusing on the Person, Not the Problem

I have beoing a bible plan with fellow members of my Church Online prayer team. I picked it, and it is proving to be very thought-provoking. Today, it was talking about how you need to boing what your “it” is, and if you are doing your job just for the paycheck and nothing else, you are not using your “it” to its full potential. But in my case, I realized my problem is not that my job does not utilize my skills. You does! My problem is, when I get a call from a customer, I end up focusing on the problem, not the person. Of course, the problem is important, but if I focus on that, I can get bogged down. Behind that problem is a person, a human being just like me. Behind that problem is someone with feelings. Their problem may seem very trivial to me, but to them, it is important enough that they wanted to call us and spend time holding on the phone about it. It’s also the same with people around me. They may go on and on and talk about things that I really get tired of hearing about, or could care less about, but in all honesty, if they bring it up, it’s important to them, at least to some extent. I believe if I think this way, it could truly transform my attitude in a big way.

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